There was a trap in this that I didn't understand. I was being held hostage by some saboteurs in my life who were hijacking the way I operated. Of course, the saboteurs were inside of me. I am a pleaser at heart and I had allowed it to swallow my own wishes, desires, and values.

Even as I began my training as a coach this saboteur was operating along quite happily. My mission, which coaches love to share with one another, was to help others, to be an example of being a warm heart that would share it with others so that they could find their own. But the truth was that I had yet to find my own. In the end the journey asked me to be selfish in a way I hadn't allowed myself before. I was still putting limits on my life. 

I learned something at my sister's celebration of life, an event that even people who had known her briefly some 20 years ago had travelled long distances to get to. To a person, they talked about her kindness and generosity and how she had helped them in their lives. There were so many people despite it being such a remote location. What struck me at that moment was that I could only hope to have that outpouring at my own farewell. The realization was that I was actually doing a disservice to others by not honoring them. I had judged them that they would not make up their own mind. That they might do things for me despite not wanting to. I had transferred my own issues of needing to please and was judging them for that. If you have read 'The four agreements' you might notice how many of these I was breaking despite not even realizing it. It took a little while longer for the understanding to take hold but it has altered my personal mission. Now it's to live a 'no holds barred life'.

I’ve spent my career building and leading teams to create digital products. While I started my post-university career as a software engineer, over time I began to lead others, then teams and eventually whole companies as a founder, CTO, COO and CEO. I have led public companies with thousands of employees and have started small ventures from the ground floor in small shared office spaces. At times I was slow to realize what I really liked about what I did but ultimately it came down to my love of working with people and helping them to transform.

My greatest challenges came from balancing the growth in my work life with my own personal growth and the events that our relationships with others creates. I've lost my way at times wondering how I could be successful in one context but not another. I've experienced events that could have been devastating. Becoming integrated, finding my values, discovering my saboteurs and acting to overcome them in all areas of my life has personally given me rewards that I never realized I was missing. I am a certified professional coach trained by the Co-Active Training Institute. I currently live between the two places I consider home, Vancouver, Canada, and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, when I am not off trying to experience other parts of the World.